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Snappy Comeback

Peter's parents took us out for dinner tonight to celebrate his upcoming birthday, and gave him a beautiful scrapbook containing photos of him and his family from babyhood to the present. This was the first opportunity for me to see many of his baby pictures, and I eagerly perused them for similarities to Emmy. In one of the pics (entitled "Southern Exposure"), toddler Peter is shown from the back with his pants down to his knees, leaving his shapely little derriere in full view. I pointed at the photo and quipped "Look, Honey - I think Emmy has your butt!" to which he immediately retorted "Yeah - but she has your genitalia."

Once in a while, the man absolutely slays me.

Sexual Orientation - Free Will and Grace

You're entering dangerous, politically-charged territory here, so readers beware! If you don't like controversy, don't touch this one with a ten-foot pole . . . but if you enjoy discussion and debate, pull up a chair and read awhile.

I've been recently involved in a discussion with a dear friend who feels called to minister to people who suffer from what she calls Same Sex Attraction. She herself was a victim of the most abhorrent sexual abuse you can imagine from her earliest years, and has lately come to the conclusion that any person living a homosexual lifestyle can be healed from SSA through Christ and live a healthy, happy heterosexual life. Below is my take on the subject:

I feel there’s a distinction between true homosexuality and homosexual behavior. I happen to disagree with the premise that experiencing homosexual desires (or Same Sex Attraction) is a choice. I also feel that it’s dangerous to apply anecdotal information to a population and claim that because one person (or even thousands of persons) managed to successfully transition from a homosexual lifestyle to a heterosexual one, it means that anyone who does not achieve that feat has “chosen” not to.

I truly believe that some people are simply born with “the wrong plumbing,” so to speak. I have several close gay friends whom I believe were born that way – one of whom I’ve known since childhood. Without exception, they tried desperately to fit in and be “normal,” though from an early age it was apparent to them and to others that they were “different.” Throughout high school and even college, they dated women, and tried to rationalize their homosexual attractions and encounters as part of a normal friendship between men, as being gay was simply unthinkable. These men each had a firm belief in and fostered a strong relationship with God. They had a healthy prayer life, studied the Bible, attended church regularly and went to church schools. They came from loving Christian homes (two of them are pastor's kids!).

One of these men has been one of my dearest friends for many years. I personally witnessed his struggle to deny what was obvious to others since he was a child but was not even a possibility in his mind until he was in his 20’s. Eventually he rejected his faith (for intellectual reasons) and attended a non-Christian school, and only after leaving the Christian belief system behind was he able to admit to himself—let alone to others—that he was, and had always been, homosexual. It is actually really sad to me that he could not accept his sexual identity within the context of his Christianity – that choice was simply not made available to him. With the exception of the Episcopalians, the Christian Church has largely made it clear that there is no place for homosexuals within its ranks.

There’s another group of people who have been victims of sexual abuse at an early age which led to sexual confusion and/or rebellion against heterosexuality – and yet another group who get their rocks off doing what’s perceived “forbidden” or taboo and choose to indulge in non-heterosexual behavior simply for the thrill of it. I believe that these two groups can definitely find healing and achieve a happy, heterosexual lifestyle. But in my opinion, expecting people who have been born homosexual to lead a heterosexual lifestyle is like asking a normal heterosexual man to decide to become a homosexual – or worse, like asking a person born without a limb to just have faith and pray, and it will be restored. These folks can no more choose not to be gay than Stevie Wonder could choose not to be blind or I could choose not to be Caucasian.

Sin has resulted in some nasty consequences. Things on earth are not as they were originally designed to be – children aren’t always born healthy and whole, good people and bad suffer alike from horrible illnesses. Tragedy strikes the innocent and the guilty. All of us fall short of the ideal that God had in mind when He created us. While I acknowledge that God is powerful enough to heal any disease or rescue anyone from death, the fact is that He doesn’t heal or rescue everyone (at least not in this lifetime!). And I’m sorry, but I just can’t believe that children die from cancer because they don’t have enough faith in God to heal them – or that innocent people die ghastly deaths because they didn’t pray hard enough or have enough trust in God to save them.

That said, I recognize that desires and actions are two different things, and that while desires may not be altered, actions certainly can. And yet it also seems clear to me that I’m not really qualified to make a judgment call on that – provided that we’re talking consenting adults, I feel that it’s best left between the individual(s) and God.

My greatest comfort comes in knowing that our God is loving, and full of grace and mercy. He knows our struggles intimately, and can read the depths of each soul – and He chooses to save each one of us in spite of our sinful, imperfect selves.

As Paul stated so eloquently in Romans 8:33-39: “Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

OK, I've had my say - now it's your turn to weigh in. What do YOU think?

The Latest

Since I've recently posted an update and there's not much news, I'm being lazy and just posting some pics of Emmy's recent activities (and not-so-brief explanations). Note the poor lizard - wish Peter had managed to get a video, 'cause apparently she was twirling it in circles by the tail until her alarmed Grandma and Daddy persuaded her to "be gentle!" and hold it still. Seems our scaly little friend was either too petrified at being helicoptered violently through the air or simply too stupid to cast off its tail . . .

Two weeks ago we attended a party to celebrate our dear friend Pat's promotion to GM of the Il Fornaio restaurant in Roseville, CA, as well as his wife Maria's 36th birthday. It was bittersweet for Peter and I - we're really happy for Pat (he's worked his tail off for years for this!), but we're sad that they're moving so far away. We're trying to look at it as an opportunity to spend more time in beautiful northern CA. Emmy didn't let the goodbyes spoil her fun - she had a terrific time on the slide and swing in Maria's parents' back yard . . .

Last week was finals week for Peter, so his schedule was flexible enough that he actually had time to bring Emmy and meet me for lunch and giggles at Las Fuentes, and to take her to the park for some more serious swinging . . .

And finally, we got to spend some time with Ryan and Shari last Saturday night, and while we gaped in awe at their enormous new LCD TV, Emmy tried her hand at taking a picture of us for a change . . .

Last weekend I had an event and had to work all day Friday and Saturday, so I'm looking forward with real anticipation to having a little time to spend with Peter and Emmy this weekend. Grandma Jean has even agreed to take Emmy this Friday afternoon/evening so that Peter and I can enjoy the first hours alone we've spent since our anniversary last November. Hooray for Spring Break!

Hope you're all having a great week!

None Too Bright

Peter and I were just trying to recall the name of the demon writing to his nephew Wormwood in C. S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters . . .

Uh . . . Who's buried in Grant's Tomb again?

Obviously not the sharpest tools in the shed, so to speak.

The Emmy Update

The last month has been full of activity and adventure for 2-year-old Emmy. A few weeks ago, Mom and Stanton offered us the opportunity to attend a members-only showing of John Constable's six-foot landscapes at the Huntington Library, so Emmy and I (Peter had to study as usual) joined them and Joel for a rare (and quite chilly) nighttime visit. Emmy loved being outside, and while she did not seem to be impressed by the paintings, she fell in love with the string quartet playing just outside the gallery entrance. When they finished their first piece, she squealed and clapped delightedly, and immediately signed for "more!" She watched, enraptured for about 10 minutes. What can I say? The girl likes her music.

I've introduced her to the Tiny Tots Sabbath School the past couple of weeks, and she absolutely loves it. Unlike Cradle Roll, this class is well-organized (thanks to former classmate Stefani McFarland), with a sheet provided to parents that outlines the activities and songs (including the lyrics for those of us who don't have them memorized) for the morning's program, which makes it a cinch to successfully involve your child in the proceedings. Emmy clapped and squealed after every song (and there were a lot of songs!) and really enjoyed hammering on a two by four with all the other kids (ostensibly like Jesus did while helping out his dad in the carpenter shop) and doing songs with motions. When the teacher put out the "mommy sheep" in preparation for the kids to bring their "baby sheep" to her, Emmy ran up and grabbed it and was mid-getaway when I intercepted her and explained that the mommy sheep had to stay up front so her babies could find her. The felts used to illustrate the Bible story also proved to be an irresistible temptation. So the upshot is that although I got a little more "on stage" time than I wanted, Emmy had a ball. The poor teacher charitably stated that she "enjoyed her enthusiasm!"

My dear friend Gayle showed up unexpectedly a couple Fridays ago bearing Starbucks (God bless her!), and we had great time together playing and reading stories with Emmy. Emmy and I are hoping we'll continue to see a lot more of her. :)

With Peter studying and Ryan sleeping last Sabbath afternoon, Shari and I took advantage of the gorgeous weather and took Emmy to the park. It was interesting to see how cautious she was after just a few months' hiatus from the equipment. She loved climbing up the stairs and sliding down the slide, and even after the sun went behind the hill and it started getting really chilly, Shari nearly had to pry her out of the swing. While there, we serendipitously bumped into John & Katie Wical (John is Peter's 2nd cousin) and their daughter Emily. It was fun to see them again - Emily has grown so much since we last saw her! We've gotta figure out a way to see them more often.

Not much else new to report on the growth front. New teeth are constantly coming in, but it doesn't seem to bother her. Apparently speech has been deemed unnecessary (at least temporarily), despite all Mommy's and Daddy's encouragement. She plays with a large variety of toys, though her instruments definitely still rank among her favorites. Another endless source of entertainment is wearing Mommy or Daddy's shoes, and wearing her own clothes in unique ways (shoes on hands, pants on head, etc.). She's still very fond of her books, but occasionally resists storytime, as it usually precedes nap/bedtime. And (as you may have read in my previous post) she's strongly resisting going to bed at night - though for some reason pretending to sleep (putting a pillow on the floor and having one of us cover her with a blanket while she makes pretend snoring noises) is fun. Go figure!

Must play with Emmy now so Daddy can get some more schoolwork done. Hope your weekend is wonderful!

It's a new dawn, it's a new day . . . and I'm feelin' good!

I so love Fridays! Sleeping in (when Emmy lets me), having lots of time with the munchkin, and general anticipation of a little quality time with friends and family over the next couple of days (and maybe even a little down time for Mommy!) make Fridays feel full of promise. The fact that it's shaping up to be a perfectly gorgeous day doesn't hurt. Perhaps we'll make a sortie to the park after naptime - assuming Emmy cooperates and actually takes one.

I've been fighting a really bad cold all week, but I think I'm on the mend, so things are looking up. If I could have, I would have kissed my choir director when he called me yesterday afternoon to say that rehearsal last night was cancelled - although I'm sure he'd cringe at the thought (for a multitude of reasons!).

Emmy's been acting her age lately - the past two nights she has cried inconsolably when we put her to bed . . . for what seems like forever! This from the child who never used to make a peep unless she was sick or had a legitimate need (hunger, messy diaper, etc.). Now she's a toddler, and smart enough to figure out that if she cries, we try to figure out what's wrong, which means she gets to spend more time with us and less time sleeping.

The first time it happened, we assumed it was because she was fighting a bug, and since it was Friday night, we decided to hold her until she went to sleep while we caught up on what's been happening at The Office. We soon figured out that she was feeling just fine and simply wanted to play instead of sleeping, so I put her back in her crib. After much crying and several attempts by Peter and I to run interference with her, she finally went to sleep. The next night, we tried taking turns putting her back down and telling her to go to sleep, but she kept crying for over half an hour until I held her for a long while.

Last night, we tried letting her cry it out. For the first 15-20 minutes, we took turns putting her back down again every five minutes or so, to no avail. After 30 minutes, I tried expressing displeasure and telling her she was naughty and threatening consequences, but that definitely didn't help. She got so worked up after 45 minutes, I figured she might actually go to sleep faster if I got her to calm down, so I held her again for a while in her room. It took several cycles of holding her and calming her down, putting her back in the crib, her crying again, and me holding her again before she was finally too exhausted to fight it anymore and went to sleep. We do NOT want this to turn into a nightly power struggle. Any ideas for how we can break this cycle?

Well . . . I've gotta go play with my girl. Hope you have a terrific day! :)